Questionable

To blog or not to blog

I have to admit that I'm diggin' Facebook. It is an easy way to reach lots of people quickly. And, I really like using Twitter to update my FB status. These two marvelous inventions have contributed to my lack of blogging. It is really easy to dash off a tweet rather than compose an entire post. So, if you like my stuff here, I encourage you to also follow my Twitter feed (or join FB - I'm looking at you, Shan).

Lots of stuff has been happening around here, mostly to do with the move that deserve mention, but are going to get short shrift. But here's a few:

I sold my curio cabinet to a woman who sells antiques and home goods. She showed up to get it by herself, wearing a foot boot/cast. I don't trust myself enough to carry a heavy, glass-sided piece of furniture down my front steps. So, J helped her move with the assistance of my neighbor, who we had to call for help at the last minute. I was happy to get rid of it, but surprised at the woman. She told us she was planning on moving it herself.

As if you didn't know, Craig's List is full of scammers. $300 seems to be a sweet-spot for them. List something for that price or more and you are bound to get an email saying something about a cashier's check. I'm not so stupid, but I wonder how many people are taken by these scams.

Speaking of furniture, are you sure you don't need a big closet/cabinet or a bedroom set?

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We move J into his little studio this weekend. His new position starts next week. I'm hoping this house will sell. We are putting about $4000 into the house just to put it on the market for the same price we bought it for seven years ago. One bright spot is that sales seem to be up and my price range seems to be a sweet spot for St. Paul, but I'm worried. We had the electrician here last week and the plumber here this morning. Next week the handyman arrives followed by the painters the next week. The house is a disaster and I'm tired of living in the mess, but I guess this is how it has to be.

We moved our king bed into the garage this past weekend when I had a bunch of guys over to move things around. So, I'm sleeping on the futon in the guest room and J is in the basement on the bed that will move into our bedroom once it is painted. I can't sleep in the basement because of my allergies. I feel like a college student in my futon.

We've spent the last few weeks really cleaning out the crap and donating lots of nice things to Goodwill. We've also given a number of things away (more to come). And, are trying to sell the rest. It isn't a great time to be selling furniture because everyone seems to be doing it. Bad economy = selling things to make food money. My electrician, one of the highest rated ones in the city, was telling me just two years ago he had a crew of five. Now it is just him. His wife was laid off and they are selling everything in their house to afford college tuition for the kid. He just has no business.

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Finding J's studio in Chicago was interesting. We ended up with a tiny, but very sunny unit right in the Loop a few blocks from his job. One problem was trying to find a place that permitted a six-month lease. That limited our options. We ended up looking at three places in one building and one in another. The building he selected has few amenities, but is cheap, while the other building had everything under one roof, but was expensive. I rooted for the one he ended up picking because it is on a corner and gets cross-ventilation.

He'll be home every weekend for a while because he is teaching a class at the U, which has been move to Sunday nights. It was that or do it via video conference, which the students don't like.

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I am really beginning to feel normal. The more activity the better, but my stamina is still really not there. Moving, cleaning, and packing isn't the best way to get back in shape, so I'm looking forward to walking as soon as it is slightly warmer. I might even get in a short walk later today. One of the biggest problems I'm having (along with just being generally weak and inflexible) is with my feet. The one that I broke a few years ago is back to acting up and the other one has terrible plantar fasciitis. I'm thinking both of these things will go away (again) when I am walking more. I am doing my stretches, which is helping, but I need working feet. After trotting around all day in Chicago, I didn't go out at night because I couldn't imagine any further walking.

Earlier this month I went and visited the kids via the train. It was the first time I traveled by myself or on public transportation since I caught cancer. It was wonderful to see the kids in their own element again. I'll get the pictures posted to Flickr one of these days, but I have uploaded the videos to YouTube. There are a bunch under the username questioningyou. Here is a super cute one to get you started. Note that she has a cold so her upper lip is full of snot.




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Guess what? My entire family, sans J, is going to Disneyworld in October. My brother, the dad, really wants to do this trip so his tax return is going toward paying for their family. He is looking at it as a celebration of health and life. The kids will be 5, 5, and 3. Oatmeal is already suspicious of our plans. We speak in code, but she still figures out we're talking about Disney. She knows more about the place than I do.

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I liked the changes at the Oscars, particularly when the old winners came out and said nice things about the nominee. I also liked the first and later musical numbers. They were fun. And, I loved Kate Winslett's dress.

When we were in Chicago we watched Milk via on demand. I liked this movie far more than I thought I would. Two thumbs up for this one.

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J needs a new computer (he is using a laptop that I got almost seven years ago). So, I got a new MacBook Pro (bought with his student/teacher discount) and he is getting my old one. The coolest thing ever is how you can connect the two laptops and just move everything from one to the other.

Who is going with me?

I wish I could. Wouldn't it be fun? In any case, it was nice to be asked.

YAY! - A blog post

I really didn't want this blog to turn into all cancer all the time, but that's apparently what happened. I just don't have the energy or creativity to write much else right now. But, I do have a few non-cancer updates.

Did you know that you if you donate "to a Minnesota political party, a candidate for state office, or candidates for the Minnesota Legislature, you are eligible to apply for a refund of a portion of your contribution(s)?" In other words, you can give up to $50 per person and get it back by filing a form found on the linked-to site. Apparently, the republicans take advantage of this far more than the democrats. So, get cracking, folks.

Every year the Strib has a holiday cookie contest and publishes the top five or six recipes in the paper. J noticed the pictures and excitedly mused that he'd like to try the double-chocolate-cherry espresso drops, the winning cookie. Cherry-chocolate-espresso is one of his favorite flavor combinations so I had already toyed with the idea of making them for him. Now, I never bake cookies. Never. I DON'T BAKE. Baking is messy and requires accuracy. But, I have free time and knew that I could keep it together long enough to make one batch of two-dozen cookies. And, J said he would help. So, last night we made the cookies. I have a really, really, really old Mixmaster that travels across the counter as it spins, so the baking event was rather humorous. I measured and mixed while he cleaned around me, prepared the baking sheets, and placed the dough balls on the parchment paper. Guess what? These are some of the best cookies I've ever had. Really. And, you could also make them with other chip flavors if you'd like to be creative. Here is the recipe:

DOUBLE CHOCOLATE-CHERRY ESPRESSO DROPS
Makes about 2 dozen.
Note: Our contest winner comes from Faith Ford in Big Lake, Minn.
• 1 tbsp. instant espresso powder
• 1 tbsp. boiling water
• 1 c. flour
• 3/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/2 c. (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 2/3 c. granulated sugar
• 1/4 c. packed dark brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/2 c. chopped dried cherries
• 3/4 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips
• White almond bark for decoration, optional

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a small bowl, mix instant espresso powder and water and reserve. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt and reserve. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat butter and granulated sugar until creamy, about 2 minutes. Add dark brown sugar and beat an additional 30 seconds. Add egg and beat until thoroughly incorporated. Add vanilla extract and reserved espresso mixture and beat until thoroughly incorporated. Reduce speed to low, add flour mixture and mix until just incorporated. Stir in cherries and chocolate chips.

Using a 1-inch scoop, drop cookie dough on prepared baking sheets, spacing dough 2 inches apart. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes; because cookie is very dark, it's difficult to tell if they are overbaked. Watch center of cookies; when they lose their gooey quality, they are done. Remove from oven and cool on baking sheets for 10 minutes before transferring cookies to a wire rack to cool completely. In a microwave oven, or using a double boiler over gently simmering water, melt almond bark and lightly drizzle over cookies, optional.

Note: We did the almond bark drizzle and think it works best with it. The hint of sweetness takes cuts the bittersweet chocolate a bit.

And, finally, Squab tagged me a few days ago. I'm finally responding:

1. Five names you go by
a) Lisa
b) leelabell
c) Lala
d) Lee
e) Lees

2. Three things you are wearing right now:
a) Head scarf
b) Slippers
c) Sweatshirt

3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
a) To be done with chemo
b) To have no cancer reoccurance

4. Two things you did last night (Wednesday, 12/10):
a) Baked cookies
b) Fell more in love with Pushing Daisies, which is unfortunately ending in four episodes.

5. Two things you ate/drank today:
a) Pistachos
b) Apple Jacks

6. Two people you last talked to on the phone:
a) My mom
b) Jaana

7. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
a) Two medical tests - PFTs and a MUGA
b) Maybe see a movie

8. Two longest car rides:
a) Sheboygan to Wyoming
b) Sheboygan to Colorado

9. Two of your favorite beverages:
a) Diet Coke
b) Newcastle

AND ANOTHER:

Pick a color for the things that you have done. Mine are in red letters.
I have…
1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Skied a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant

Some thoughts about the election

My parents taught me the importance of voting. It was a big deal in our house. They didn't miss an election (well, maybe a really, really inconsequential primary). I remember going with them, to the local elementary school, and helping to pull the lever. Because of my upbringing and my continued thrill about voting, I am proud to live in a state with minimal voting problems - even with the largest voter percentage in the nation. We have machines that accurately count votes. With the exception of morning and after-work rush, we don't stand in long lines. Voting here generally just works. That's why it has been so disturbing to me to see the lines of voters in other states. Five hour lines in the days before the election? What's that about? In my precinct of 6,000 households, we have either three or four voting locations. Do those states only provide one machine per county, or what? And what is up with the unreliable touch-screen machines? And why are we already hearing about states with crazy registration errors? For the last few nights Rachel Maddow has been harping on the long lines. She equates the lines to another poll tax. If you can't afford to stand in a long line because of employment, family, or other obligations, or unable to do so because of illness or age, the line is no different than a fee. And, you know what? She's right.

One of the things I'm most sad about with this election is that I didn't do anything to help elect my candidates. Before I got sick I planned to heavily volunteer for Obama or for a get-out-the-vote effort. But I had to give that up. I would love to be out tonight at an election results party, but I can't do that either. I'm a little blue that I won't be out celebrating with the masses. I do plan to keep my windows open, however, because I expect a large cheer when the major networks call it for Obama.

I was in and out of my precinct this morning without waiting. I showed up at 10:45, which I knew would be a slow time. But, I was already number 769, which is quite high for my small precinct. I've already gone in there in the middle of the day and been just over 100. And, why couldn't we have better choices in the Associate Justice Supreme Court race. Gildea vs. Hedlund? Gildea is a super conservative, anti-prisoner-rights judge, while Hedlund is a wack-job right wing Christian who says she knows nothing about the presidential race and hates Muslims. I know I should have voted for Gildea, but I just could not bring myself to do it. I left the race blank. I couldn't hold my nose.

My predictions:
Obama
Coleman (Why, oh why, couldn't we have put up Nelson-Palmeyer?)
The nutty woman up north (unfortunately - I really want this one to go the other way and I hope I'm wrong)
Paulson (another unfortunate one after having a reasonable man in this seat for a long time, but Madia's campaign needed work)

I expect to be up late tonight watching the results come in unless it goes early to Obama. I'll also be online watching the live chat at the Uptake and probably texting, Tweeting, and talking with friends and family. I really can't wait. It is like the Packers are in the Superbowl.

The housing crisis hits home

There is a gigantic 3000sqf+ house on my street that was a sorority house in its previous life. Some time ago a woman who fostered disabled children bought it. I suppose an inexpensive 6+ bedroom house with a huge, old gas stove was perfect for her life. More recently, she adopted one of the children and stopped fostering. The house became much too big for the two of them. It was also too expensive to heat and maintain. The house isn't run down, but it is dated. The walls need painting and the floors need work. I know nothing about the electrical or heating systems, but I imagine they're not brand new. About two or three years ago, she refinanced, sided, re-roofed, landscaped, and presumably did some things inside. Then she put the house on the market. When it was first listed it was priced at $399,900. Right now this house is valued at over $500,000 (because of its size), so the price was a good one. I hoped a young, big family, with handy adults would buy it and make it a home. I guess there was very little interest. The house stayed on the market for over two years until she gave up and decided to stop paying the mortgage. The most recent price was $319,000. Earlier this year, got married, moved out, and moved in with her new hubby.

My neighbors and I have been wondering what's going to become of this house. And a few weeks ago signs started popping up that it would be auctioned with a starting bid of $50,000. Like a real, live auction. My brother and I were saying that if either of us were in the least bit handy, $50,000 was pretty cheap for a house currently valued at 10x that. If only. We also found out the the neighbor directly to the south of this house wanted to buy it and tear it down. They were going to turn the empty lot into a garden. I liked that idea too. Their budget was $75,000. We saw lots of other people touring the house. Large families followed by U of MN groups were seen trekking up and down the front and back steps.

The auction was scheduled for today. Potential buyers could either bid online or in person. About 6-8 houses were to be auctioned. I have no idea why they chose this house as the location for the auction, but I was getting psyched to see the fast-talking auctioneer doing his thing. Then I realized I couldn't attend because, what else, I had a doctor's appointment during the auction. But, J returned from his business trip right before it started so he wandered over there to watch the festivities. And, sure enough, two guys in a Texas Cadillac pulled up and auctioned the different houses with all the funny voice prompts and arm movements. The house went for $260,000 (so much for my $50,0000 fixer upper or my neighbor's garden) to someone who is probably a developer or flipper of some sort. He also bought a second house at the auction. Hopefully, he will fix it up and a big family will buy it.

Recommended Reading

Mostly because I'm stuck at home, I'm reading more political and local blogs and online news sources than in previous elections. As I've said in the past, I'm a big fan of MinnPost (and we've recently become members). And ever since the RNC, I've become equally enamored with the Minnesota Independent. With a very small staff, they are covering local and national stories with often much greater depth than the two local dailies. I also love that they don't truncate their RSS feeds. Here are some examples of stuff they've been covering:

Subprime targets and the CRA

Created more than 30 years ago, the CRA essentially worked like this: In turn for taking money from low-income communities, banks would have their lending practices examined by federal regulators to ensure they’re making loans for mortgages, small businesses, and community development in those same neighborhoods. In other words, they’d be examined to ensure they weren’t discriminating against low-income neighborhoods that supplied them with monies to make loans to other customers.

But what actually happened in the last few years, Orfield says, is much different. “One of the purposes of the CRA was to ensure that prime credit would be extended into poor neighborhoods,” Orfield says. “And it never really has been that way. It’s been 30 years of enforcement, and it hasn’t really gotten better. Neighborhoods have become more racially segregated, particularly in the Twin Cities. The CRA has become perverted. It’s often become a way to have subprime and predatory lending and to reinvest in projects that deepened poverty. This is what CRA has come to mean.”

For one thing, the CRA never required banks and lenders to create risky loan packages and market them to consumers who would be unable to afford them after the terms changed. For another, the banks never had a specific quota to meet under CRA, but instead were simply required to show they reinvested back in the community.

Geoff Smith agrees with Orfield’s assessment, and says blaming the CRA is woefully misplaced. “The CRA wasn’t the problem,” he says. “The mortgage crisis went well beyond the scope of the CRA. What’s more, the vast majority of lenders were not covered by the CRA. In fact, it was a loophole in the CRA that subprime lenders were not covered under CRA by regulation.”

Tingelstad runs for Supreme Court on mission from God

Officially, Tingelstad says his campaign is mainly concerned with maintaining the election of judges in Minnesota, a process that has been under serious criticism for years. But his campaign web site tells a different story.

“As God’s Word has been removed from our public lives, the resulting darkness has led to our present social disorder and political divisions,” his website, Highest Hill, reads. “The correction of these problems will only begin when the Light of Truth is returned to our land’s highest hills, the Supreme Courts. Until our highest courts return to an acknowledgment of the existence of God and His Truth, the people will continue to walk in the confusion of darkness.”

The separation of church and state, Tingelstad argues, is a myth. Justices should rule from the “Word of God” first, and from sources such as the constitution, statute and case law second.

Look, I'm not boneheaded enough to vote for a judge without a bit of research, but others are. This guy is scary.

That's just two examples of the good work being done by the Minnesota Independent. I've been planning on doing something a little more thoughtful about them, but they got screwed over by Coleman today, so here is something quick to get you to start reading.

The young and persuadable

J and I ate at Byerlys restaurant yesterday afternoon before doing some grocery shopping. J was wearing his Obama shirt. We were seated by a college-ageish guy. Here is a transcript of their conversation:

Him: Obama, huh?
J: Yup
Him: I don't know who to vote for.
J: Did you watch the debate?
Him: No. I'm young. I don't really follow politics. It is all about bright and flashy things for me.

I think he was trying to be funny or cute. I wanted to engage him further, but he had a job to do and was quickly helping other people. But the exchange made me sad. Kid, voting is important. Voting for McCain is likely against your own best interests. Please, kid, think about how important this election is to your future.

Is anyone watching the Emmys?

Why do I put myself through this?

This might be the worst Emmys ever. Except I kinda liked the Josh Groban part.

Instinct, intuition, or illogical?

Before I was diagnosed with cancer, I was convinced I had it. For no real reason. I just knew I had it. Shortly after my mom got sick, I remember talking to J about the likelihood that I would get cancer. At that time I figured it would happen when I was older because even though we have a lot of female cancer on both sides of the family, no one has been diagnosed before menopause. Within three or four months of that conversation, I had changed my words and told J that I was going to get cancer sooner rather than later. Other than fatigue during exercise, there was nothing else pointing to cancer. But I knew. Was my body talking to me? I don't know. I'm not a hypochondriac, so maybe I should have listened closer.

Since I started treatment, I've become convinced I am going to make a full recovery. I don't dwell on being sick (very often). I almost never think about it when going about my daily activities. I am just completely and totally sure that after January I'll get a clean bill of health and will stay that way. That's why, yesterday, when I went in for my most recent test results I was ecstatic, but not completely surprised to find out that there is no longer evidence of cancer in my lymph nodes. YAY! The chemo is doing exactly what it is supposed to be doing. Provided my body keeps responding how it has been, I am going to need 8 more rounds (12 total) taking me to the end of the year, but at least now I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that ol' Nef is doing his job. It is still an uphill climb. My lungs can't get too damaged. My heart can't get too damaged. I can't develop an allergy. But, I'm still certain I am going to be okay. Hell, even my inscrutable doctor had a bit of a smile on his face.

A relatively small problem I'm having with the chemo is hand swelling. There are lots of days when I can't wear my wedding ring. This is sometimes caused by the steroids. I am no longer taking them during the week, but I do get a bag full right before I get my chemo. The steroid helps my body to absorb the anti-nausea. But, (warning to KV who is picking me up this week) I am going to try getting chemo without the steroid and hope the anti-nausea works well enough by itself. Why put myself through this for just some hand swelling? Well, the fluid retention can spread. If it moves to my heart or lungs, it is not a good thing. If we can eliminate the steroid as a culprit, we can figure out if a chemo is causing the swelling.

I had a long conversation with my doctor about the cause of Hodgkin's. There are only 7,000 to 8,000 new cases in the U.S. every year. Eighty percent of adults have the virus that causes Hodgkin's, so it is a really small number of diagnoses. The cause hasn't completely been determined, but it seems to be a combination of environmental factors, age at which someone was exposed to the Epstein-Barr virus, and other things. Genetic links are very, very small. It can sometimes run in families but that may have more to do with similar upbringing rather than genes.

Changing topics for a moment.
Are you completely confused and mystified by the whole financial meltdown thing? This NY Times article is very helpful. I would add that Levitt should have covered the bond ratings agencies and their roll in the meltdown, but it gives a good outline of what's going on right now. One other thing to consider is that Goldman Sachs is rumored to be in trouble. When Bear was rescued earlier this year, people thought Goldman was untouchable because they stayed out of the sub-prime mortgage mess. If they go, there are lots of companies who do business with them that are going to have trouble. Lots of companies. Maybe even some local ones. That's scary.

Bitch magazine needs help

I don't subscribe, but I do buy issues on the newsstand. Bitch is one of my favorite feminist sources of information. But, like other print publications, they are having trouble raising funds (they're non-profit) and might not be able to put out their next issue.

Read more here and here and donate here.