Questionable

Blast from the past: Space Food Sticks

Do you remember Space Food Sticks? My grandma used to buy these and I ate them with my uncle. I had forgotten them until I saw this video. The weird texture and fake taste came rushing right back to me.

How not to charm an old chick having an eye exam

Start talking about bifocals before the exam and before you know if she wears glasses.

I'm always trying different eye doctors because the whole experience feels very strip mall to me. Do you really need to go to school for this profession? Anyway, I wear glasses in front of my computer. I have a very slight far-sided correction that makes it easier to work for hours on end. My correction is so slight that they don't make "cheaters" weak enough for my eyes. Today, as I entered the room with the chair and equipment, I was immediately told I needed bifocals. Huh? Aren't you going to introduce yourself? How do you know I wear glasses? I've never come here before, nor have I handed you my current pair. The "doctor" just assumed since I am now 40, that I would need them. The exam took an hour because I basically fought with him through the whole thing. He did agree that I didn't need bifocals but might in the future. Okay, thanks. If I hadn't totally scratched my current glasses, you'd have never met me, dude. Do they make more money on bifocal lenses? Interestingly, I actually think I got a very good eye exam.

You know what I feel like doing today?

Crawling into bed and reading a book. It is gray and windy and nowhere near the 80-85 predicted degrees. Besides, I noticed this morning that my neck is wrinkly.

It is Alzheimer's, I tell ya

First, I totally forgot I had a dentist appointment on Monday. Completely and totally missed it. I felt like a fucking idiot. The only thing that makes it slightly less embarrassing is that the dentist switched the date on me. I always schedule all appointments (doctor, dentist, etc.) on Tuesdays and having a Monday appointment is not normal.

Second, I've completely forgotten how to use a regular telephone. I always use my cell phone. I don't have to dial numbers and I don't have to listen for a dial tone. Today, I picked up the cordless handset of the house phone to call the dentist to reschedule the appointment and I couldn't figure out how to use it. I tried to dial the number without listening for the dial tone and the call didn't connect. Do you know how long it took me to remember that I had to hit the "talk" button before dialing rather than after dialing?

Sigh...

I'm a doorknob

Over the last week or so, my cordless toothbrush has been acting up. After two minutes of brushing it was beeping wildly to tell me that it needed charging. However, it gets put back on the charger after every use. I had heard that sometimes these toothbrushes have problems holding a charge after a while, but this thing is relatively new, so I was getting crabby. Then, yesterday night, it stopped working completely after about 15 seconds. I thought that perhaps cleaning the contacts between the brush and the base might solve the problem. But, it didn't. Guess what did?

Plugging it in. Yep, I stared at it multiple times every day and didn't realize it wasn't plugged in.

I'm old and senile.

You know you are getting old when...

Tonight, as we were deciding what to do, J and I laid in our bed watching out the window at two hawks (the bed is the prime hawk watching spot as our bedroom is literally in the trees)  flying back and forth from tree to tree for about 45 minutes. Needless to say, this prevented us from making any early movies, plays, etc.

What's even more pitiful is the conversation we had:
L: I bought some new undies at the outlet mall while visiting my brother. But, they no longer carry the style that I like.
J: Good underwear is an important thing. It sucks when they stop carrying your favorite underwear.
Pause
J: There should be a rule against it.