Boozefest?? In Wisconsin??

My uncle (who also left Wisconsin) sent this to me. It is so Wisconsin I don't think I need to comment.

Like an examiner for the National Transportation Safety Board analyzing a plane crash, I'm trying to identify the factors that led to a recent calamity at the Milwaukee Art Museum. First, in retrospect, it's probably a bad idea to use an art museum for any kind of all-you-can-drink event.

When the event is dubbed Martini­fest--unlimited martinis for $30--the idea becomes even more questionable. Next, add a suspicious martini recipe, which included vodka and "drink mix," according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. This situation is a classic example of experts assuming that their proficiency extends to other areas--Milwaukeeans, there's no shame in accepting your status as beer connoisseurs and consulting a specialist for the preparation of other alcoholic beverages.

In addition, the event was run by Clear Channel, the radio/billboard/concert-promoter giant, also working outside its area of expertise in an art museum. Finally, cram about 1,900 people into a space meant for about 1,400. Here's the capsule summary from the Journal Sentinel: "People threw up, passed out, were injured, got into altercations and climbed onto sculptures." Which is either really bad management or a fairly banal example of postmodernism.

Fortunately, the worst-offended pieces were sturdy sculptures. But as a service to other art museums possibly planning all-you-can-drink boozefests, I got in touch with Jennifer Mass, a chemist and senior scientist at the Winterthur Museum & Country Estate in Winterthur, Del., to find out about the dangers that drunken revelry poses to objets d'art such as the paintings sometimes found in your better museums.

The article then goes on to explain how to properly clean the aftermath of boozefests off of delicate art.

So how close to the art should people get at museum parties that include snacks and snifters? "We tend to keep people out of the rooms where there are original objects of art when there's food and drink involved," Mass says. "What a concept. And if there are pieces that are too large to be moved, then they should be roped off." Because it's far better to be roped off than ralphed on.

Comments

[Christopher]

Wow. I had to read that post twice just to get a full appreciation of the bad planning. I have to wonder if the planners maybe did the planning at an all-you-can-drink "Martini" party.

[Christopher]

Thank god it didn't happen in the winter, or they'd have crashed snowmobiles into the art.