Questionable: The R word and the D word

Lots of good, good news in my world this week. I am feeling so relieved even though I know the next 8 weeks are going to suck. The recovery after each chemo is taking longer and longer. My doctor said to expect this, but I never thought I would be sleeping 12 out of 24 hours, three or four days in a row. And the cramps and aches just get worse and worse. But, then, I eventually start to feel better. I can sit at my desk. I can work for more than a few minutes at a time. I'll get through it.

The R Word????
Remission. The doctor said it on Wednesday. I'm almost afraid to repeat it because I feel like when I do, I am jinxing myself. He thinks the cancer is in remission right now. The CT showed that my lymph nodes continue to shrink. He sees no reason to continue the treatment beyond what's already scheduled (four more infusions, completing at the end of the year). I'll have another CT at the end of January and that will be my new baseline. I'll continue to have CTs every six months for a bunch of years and then move to once a year for even more years. Those CTs will be compared against my first one. If the nodes start to enlarge again, I would probably then have a PET to determine the source of the enlargement. Another R word, relapse, usually occurs in the first two years, if at all.

The D Word????
Dissertation. Defense. Doctorate. Doctor. They'll all do. I formally completed my defense last night. It was a little unorthodox doing it on the phone, but my chair was a champ. She managed the unruliness of a teleconference and I got asked a lot of good questions. I knew my literature and my data inside and out, so the questions were actually easier for me than the presentation. I was able to be more natural. J also dialed in and was very sweet and thanked the school for being flexible and told everyone how proud of me he was.

I have a tiny bit of hope for a normal life again. Like I said earlier, I don't want to jinx anything, but things are looking up. I'm not doing anything substantive this weekend. Monday, it is back to chemo. And the week after I am going to finish fixing my dissertation and get it sent off before the family arrives for Thanksgiving. And, no, for the first time in years, we are not cooking a turkey. I am buying a turkey, already cooked, from the grocery store. Along with most of the sides. Mom will bake the pies when she arrives on Wednesday. And we're eating off of paper plates. So there, ridiculous traditions that trap me into too much work with not enough reward.

5 Comments

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY. That is the best post I've read in a long, long time. Totally awesome news on both fronts. You are a rockstar. I hope you and J get to treat yourselves to a really special celebration once the chemo is over - you both deserve it!

Posted by: Elise | November 14, 2008 at 04:20 PM

Fantastic! Wonderful! Yours is the best diss-finishing story - because it's the hardest - I've ever heard. I hope the rest of the treatment for the C goes well and that you can soon bask in the degree.

Posted by: Christopher | November 14, 2008 at 07:35 PM